


Mission Transcripts

by Aussie_Muggle



Series: the good old days and other classified ops [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Undercover as a Couple, sorry stuffed up the tags: fixed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aussie_Muggle/pseuds/Aussie_Muggle
Summary: Phil Coulson maintained until his death (and some time after it) that there was somethingwrongwith that bra.





	Mission Transcripts

**DATE:** REDACTED

 **MISSION PARAMETERS:** REDACTED

 **LOCATION:** OKHOTNYY RYAD, 2, MOSKVA, RUSSIA. FOUR SEASONS HOTEL.

 **AUTHORISATION:** LEVEL 10. ALEXANDER PIERCE.

                          

**AUDIO TRANSCRIPT**

1923 HOURS

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Sweetheart. It’s just a clasp._

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _This is hard to do you with you squirming like that._

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Are you distracted?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _I… I am not going to dignify that with a response._

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: [TRANSLATED SPANISH] _Do they have audio?_

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _No. I've dealt with it. What… What are you doing?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _It's stuck._

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Phil, it’s a hook. This isn't safe cracking._

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _There. It's off. Um._

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Well?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _Right. Married couple. I'll just go ahead and mmm-_ [AUDIO INDECIPHERABLE]

 

**MISSION TRANSCRIPT RESUMED**

1947 HOURS.

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _May. Coulson. You have incoming._

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: [AUDIO INDECIPHERABLE]

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _You wanna repeat that, Phil?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _I said, how many targets?_

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _I counted nine. May..._

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Got it. Going radio silent._

 

**MISSION TRANSCRIPT RESUMED**

2105 HOURS.

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Where the hell have you been?_

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _Getting the package and tying up men in the basement. They were onto us from the start._

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _Can we please deal with the elephant in the room first?_

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _The red lipstick on your neck?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _The explosives, Kiran._

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _Pass me the pliers. How was it before the KGB rudely interrupted?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _Is now the time?_

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _No time like present._

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _You couldn't find a better time to ask me about… irrelevant mission details… than while you're supposed to be defusing a bomb?_

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _Please. This thing was built by amateurs. Tell me… was it everything you imagined?_

AGENT PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]: _Just defuse the damn bomb._

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: _There’s no need to get snippy just because May left you blue balled._

AGENT MELINDA MAY [Level 1]: _Stop talking or I will shoot you in the knee and defuse the damn thing myself._

AGENT KIRAN SINGH [Level 1]: … _and it's defused. Let's move out._

**MISSION REPORT: MELINDA MAY [Level 1]**

 

THE PACKAGE WAS RETRIEVED WITHOUT INCIDENT. 12 KBG AGENTS ATTEMPTED TO INTERCEPT THE PACKAGE BUT WERE NEUTRALISED. AGENT SINGH DEFUSED THE EXPLOSIVES THEY LEFT BEHIND. NO CIVILIAN CASUALTIES OR WITNESSES.

 

**MISSION REPORT: PHILIP COULSON [Level 2]**

 

THE PACKAGE WAS RETRIEVED AND DETERMINED TO BE TESSERACT POWERED BY THE SCIENCE DIVISION. THE PACKAGE WAS SENT TO THE SLINGSHOT, AS PER ORDERS.

 

**MISSION REPORT: JASPER SITWELL [Level 3]**

 

~~THE PACKAGE WAS INTERCEPTED BEFORE ARRIVAL AND TAKEN TO THE FRIDGE. VAULT H. SECTION 13.~~

REDACTED

LEVEL 10 CLEARANCE REQUIRED


End file.
